I know it's been a while and I feel bad about coming and whining but I just can't take it anymore! I've mentioned how I've dealt with depression before, but it's gotten better with exercising regularly. I used to get it really bad in the winter but we've had such mild winters recently that I haven't noticed a big problem. This year is different. It's been below freezing all month. It snowed a lot 3 weeks ago and we keep getting inversion after inversion. I can't see the sun and I'm pretty sure my body is craving vitamin D. I know I could just take a supplement but I want some good old sun!
We actually went to Disneyland over Christmas break and it was cold. They got frost a couple nights and I wore my sweater and coat the entire time. I'm not supposed to leave freezing cold snow and go to not as cold for a vacation! Of course they are having 70 degree weather now that I'm not there.
The most amazing thing about all this is that it used to take me forever to realize I was off. I would stew and hate everyone and everything around me for months! I would just blame myself for being so sad all the time and that I must be doing something wrong, but now I am able to see it faster. I'm again realizing I don't hate my body. It does wonderful things for me. I can walk, run, lift weights, and hug my husband and kids. I am still worth something, even if I don't clean my house every day. I don't have to be the funniest person or the prettiest. I just have to be me. It only took me 1 week of complete and utter orneriness to figure it out. I have to say, that's impressive.
So, what am I going to do about it? Try to notice when I can feel the frustration boiling up. Give myself some time outs. Probably eat some ice cream and go shipping. Continue exercising 6 days a week. Share my feelings and apologize when I feel out of control. I can't control the weather. I can only control myself and I'm going to do my best to do that without beating myself up over it.
