Hearing or listening

I ask my kids quite often, "Do you have a hearing problem or a listening problem?" Sometimes I think they have both. I think I have a listening problem. Quite often I'll get in social situations, ask the regular question of "how are you doing?" and then have no idea what else to say. I figured it was because my brain is mush but I think I finally realized its because I have a listening problem. I don't listen well enough to what people are telling me that I don't know what else I should ask them.

I seem to be one of those people who just constantly talks about myself. I want to be someone who listens but I need to learn how to go about doing that.

I guess I'll start with actually paying attention to what the person is saying. Then I'll ask them about what they're talking about instead of trying to come up with some way it applies to me. Yes, I think this just might work. Any other ideas?

House hunting

We did it again. A friend of ours watched our kids so we could go on a date. We've been wondering where we'd want to actually buy a house, in the future. We took a drive into a new development and drove around a bit. Who would it hurt to just check out their model home? Ryan, that's who it will hurt. He desperately wants to buy a house. He has wanted to buy one for a few years now. 5 to be exact!

After we walked through a few and saw their prices, I figured what would it hurt to go to the bank and see if we could swing it. We went to the bank and talked with someone about the different options. Again, we walked away knowing with our financial situation, we can't buy a house. Ryan was deflated, yet again.

Now, if we could just rewind 6 years, we could totally buy a house! I know its 6 years because Ryan graduated 5 years ago and that was when the house prices had started to rise. 6 years ago the average house price was $150,000. 5 years ago it was creeping near the now average house price of $200,000. I kind of wish I could go back in time 9 years and tell ourselves to start saving, get that down payment, work more, put more money away, and take the time to sit down and think about your financial future. At that time all I thought about was the fact that my husband went to school and I was home alone. What a whiner!

Well since time travel doesn't really exist, I'll just have to keep taking Ryan to these open houses and then back to the bank to show him its just not time for us to own a home. I'm really okay with it. I think I'm actually afraid of it, but that's a whole other discussion. Oh and I tell myself the only way people can afford homes nowadays because they have a two income household. If that isn't true and you just make enough, don't tell me.

People person

I'm a people person. I always have been. If you've known me at all, you will probably know me forever.

Sadly facebook feeds this thing I have and I can keep up with everyone I've ever known. The problem is I don't make time for people now. I get my people fix online and I don't make any effort in person. It's also not good for my kids because they sit inside while I'm getting my social interaction online. I know I need to do more to get us out but I think that's kind of the culture we live in nowadays. We aren't outside nearly as much as when I was growing up. I mean I had the run of the neighborhood! I can't say "well, there are more predators out now" because in my neighborhood we had a huge kidnapping scare, all the time, and we still played outside.

I'm not saying I need to let my kids run amuck but we certainly need to get out more and play with real people. Please, anyone, tell me how to go about doing this?! Do I just start inviting myself over to peoples houses? I just don't know where to start. It seems like a different world than when I was growing up.

Oh and by the way, I finally found something I could exercise wise. I'm doing Jillian Michaels 'The Shred'. I've actually done it every day and my body hurts! I guess I'll let you know in 30 days if I was shredded.

Where's my award?

Bear slept 6 straight hours last night! I think that's s"sleeping through the night"! I think that's the most I've slept in over a year. Where's my award?

(I'm not trying to make fun of anyone. I'm just trying to be funny. Ryan tells me every day, I'm not)

Winter, or is it?

Every year winter comes. I live in a place with snow, so I expect it to be cold. Every year I hear people complaining about how bad it is and how they hate the snow. Which I then think, 'you know, there are places where the snow doesn't fall.'

I started paying attention a few years ago to see just how cold it is. Really, it only starts getting really cold in December and goes through February. I also find it funny when we have groundhogs day and everyone gets all mad at the groundhog for seeing his shadow. Umm, guys, 6 more weeks is only the second week in March. Its really not that bad.

Ever since I've realized this, my winters haven't been completely unbearable! We spend as much time playing in the snow as we can and then welcome the spring!

Oh, and I've also noticed its really not been that bad of a winter. I mean 45 for a high?! Come on people, this is wonderful. Although I've wondered if I'm a freak of nature because I will go out in 30 degree weather in a short sleeve shirt and no coat. Last week when it was 40, I took out the garbage barefoot.

nicknames

I figured I should explain the nicknames.

I've been thinking lately I should do a little more to help with the protection of my blog. I've done a few things but I figured I would also not have my kids real names anymore.

I put Ryan to work to come up with some good nicknames. He suggested I use a bunch of Portuguese words. Look, just because he knows them, doesn't mean I will. We all know I'm the one writing everything even if he can author stuff.

He came up with Owl, Monkey, Frog, and Bear.

Owl because, well, my oldest loves to be up at night time. He just doesn't seem to need any sort of sleep when its dark and seems to be able to live off less than me. He thinks he should have been a bat, but we thought Owl fit nicely.

Monkey is what we have called our second son since he could move! That kid climbs on everything! I constantly have people freaking out that he is going to kill himself. he also prides himself on how high he can jump off things. He is a nut.

Ryan wasn't sure if Frog was an appropriate nickname for the girl but if you know her, she jumps all the time. She would probably eat bugs if you offered them up.

The baby is bear because well, he growls, all the time! He might out grow this, but for now he is a growler. I could call him snake because he slithers all over the floor. He is now no longer in the same place that we leave him in.

We thought about giving ourselves nicknames. Ryan thought he should be studdly or something like that. I figured he can just be Ryan.

I've thought about changing our address since it has our name in it but I'm wondering if that would be really complicated. I guess that's what I get for not being creative enough.

Little Bronson and more ramblings

I just wanted to update anyone who started following this families plight. Little Bronson is awake! Seriously, how awesome is that?!

By the way, I know I've been posting a lot lately. I guess I figured I had more to say. Oh and I'm trying to get my background better. I hate how narrow it is but I can't for the life of me figure out how to make it wider. I also decided to give my kids nicknames. You can see off to the left what they are. I'm trying to do a few more safety things, so stay with me on this one.

Also, if you're a blog stalker, now's as good a time any to come out and say hi :) and give me some recommendations on how to make my blog prettier. Oh wait, not pretty as in froofy. Pretty as in, nicer to look at, or better looking. I'm not a flowers and frill kind of gal!

Sleeping through the night

I've wanted to have an open and honest discussion about this for a while but I just haven't known how to go about it. I know that so many people have their own ideas and its hard for mom's to have a good discussion without thinking the other person is putting us down.


I wonder when people talk about their baby sleeping through the night if its a badge of honor. Where did this idea that babies are supposed to sleep so many hours at a certain age? I mean I understand we are tired but babies are wired differently than us. They have a totally different sleep cycle than adults do. Why should we expect them to sleep like adults?

Some of the ways we are told we need to "teach" our babies to sleep, I just don't think are teaching them that. Yes for some reason a lot of babies will sleep 12 hours or whatever after they are left to cry it out, but at what cost?

Then there are reasons we wake up ourselves. Sometimes I have to use the restroom at night, or I'm hungry, or thirsty. Sometimes I'm just cold or I want to be held. Why would I think babies are any different? Sometimes they just want to see their mommy, even if their mommy is tired. Sometimes they just need a little drink and all will be better. Since becoming a mom, I have never understood why so much emphasis is put on whether your baby sleeps through the night.

Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect. When I had my first, I actually tried the crying it out thing once, when he was 8 months old. After leaving him in there crying for about 30 seconds I realized I am his mom. I chose to have him, not someone else and their advice. He knows what he needs and who am I to tell him what his needs are? He is only a baby for so long, why do I need to rush him on my timetable?

This has been my experience and I realize I sometimes get pity when I say my baby doesn't sleep through the night or that I will not let them cry it out so they "learn" to put themselves to sleep. Its what is best for my family and I would love to hear others experiences or why it is so important that our babies need to "sleep through the night" when we say they need to.

Tummy time

Look who has learned to roll over and push himself up! Not too long now and he should be crawling!

I just thought this was funny. He wasn't enjoying his tummy anymore and she is just sweet as an angel.
This is the other reason he isn't crawling yet. He thinks his hands should constantly be in his mouth. Yum!

Online

You know, I'm someone who likes being honest. I like saying who I am and sharing that with others. I try to really be honest but honestly, I think I'm a little too much online. I put things out there on here and my facebook and then get embarressed when someone talks to me about it in person. Like my whole vacuum fiasco. It seems funny and stupid but then I admit to it to someone in person and they can't believe I actually did that or that I fell for something like that.

Yeah, so I guess I'll have to quit being so honest or stop being so embarrassed.

Life seems too short

I have been reminded that life is too short. I get so caught up with what people tell me to do as a mom and the way I should raise my kids and I forget, life is sometimes too short. Some moms lose their sweet little ones earlier than they ever thought they would and I'm worrying about whether my baby is sleeping through the night or if they are dressed well enough or whether they use their manners at restaurants.

Yes, these things can be important but in the grand scheme of things, do they have to be perfect? I have been reading about two moms struggles for their little boys. Natalie, a friend of a friend, lost her little newborn to Pertussis. Sara, another friend of a friend, is in the PICU at Primary Children's Medical Center waiting to see what will happen to her little boy. I have been reading both their blogs since these tragedy's happened and I just weap. I can't help myself. I have these beautiful healthy kids and these women are losing theirs. It doesn't seem fair but I know my Heavenly Father is with them both.

Please, if you can, pray for them both.

DEBT FREE!!!!!

(I wrote the other post a week ago and never got it out. I figured I should post it first before this one)

I know, I know. I totally whined about how hard it has been to get that last debt gone. The day after I wrote that, I sat down and figured out our taxes. It just so happened that we were getting back the exact amount that we owed on the van. The only reason we got such a big refund was because I made Ryan lower our exemptions so I wouldn't have to pay our state tax like I did the year before. I also forgot we were going to have another baby, so we got a whole lot more than I was expecting.

The W-2 finally came 23rd and I immediately sent my return in. It took 2 weeks for them to deposit the money in and I got it this morning. The funny thing is the banks web site wouldn't let me transfer all that, so I had to do two transfers to pay it off. It said it was too big. Go figure!

Well, here's my Dave Ramsey scream since I don't want to call in and do it!

WE'RRRRRRRRRRRRRE DEBTTTTTTTTTTTTT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $34,000 in 20 months, living like no one else so we can live like no one else!

Now, on to baby step number 3, 3-6 months emergency savings. I guess its not quite time to live like no one else.

Door to Door Salesman

So, remember when I said I was paying our debt off? Well, I still am and I have a way to do it so basically in my head, we're debt free.

Two Friday's ago we had a Kirby Salesman come to our door. They sure are tricky too. They send someone up to tell you they're going to clean a part of your carpet for free, take your name and go. Then a new person comes up, starts unloading the box and begins to clean every surface they can. I was just being shown how dirty my house is. I blamed the construction down the street.

The whole time I'm thinking 'I'm not going to buy this thing, no matter how good it is, I'm not going to buy it'. We get to the end of the cleaning and a manager comes to tell us how much it is. I laughed. He showed us a smaller price and I was OK with it. I said we could probably do it, using our small emergency fund. Is anyone seeing what's wrong with this picture? The emergency fund is in there for an emergency, not a vacuum purchase!

As I'm sure you've figured out, we bought the vacuum. Throughout the whole process I just had this feeling in my gut, someone was trying to tell me not to do this. When he was giving us the smaller amount, I thought I should take Ryan into another room and discuss it with him, not in front of the manager. After this thought he told us about a story when he went to a couples house and he knew they wanted it but neither of them wanted to take the responsibility of saying yes, so he took them into separate places and basically convinced them that their spouse wanted to buy it . He was sure that to this day, the wife thinks it was the husbands choice and the husband thinks it was the wife's. Are we seeing a pattern? A little dishonest and yet I'm shocked myself that I still bought it.

Saturday, I still felt OK about the purchase, by Sunday, I was having major guilt! Monday, still not feeling sure about myself. By Tuesday I looked over the contract and saw I had 3 business days to return it with no problem. I had to have it back by midnight. I called that place so fast and drove it the 40 minutes away, just to make sure I got rid of it. Luckily I got my money back after nicely calling them 3 times a day, for 4 business days.

The day after I took it back we started researching the company and saw that they can sell these things for $700-$2500. My number was on the lower end in between that.

I just don't get it, for such a good vacuum why do they have to sell it so sleazy? Why can't they just sell them in stores? Everyone knows Kirby's really are great vacuums. They should sell themselves but yet they have these people out there being so dishonest about the whole thing. I feel horrible I got sucked into the whole thing and because of my stupid mistake and not listening to that feeling inside me, I wasn't able to get the gym membership that was such a great deal. I guess it's back to my own treadmill and bike.