I've wanted to have an open and honest discussion about this for a while but I just haven't known how to go about it. I know that so many people have their own ideas and its hard for mom's to have a good discussion without thinking the other person is putting us down.
I wonder when people talk about their baby sleeping through the night if its a badge of honor. Where did this idea that babies are supposed to sleep so many hours at a certain age? I mean I understand we are tired but babies are wired differently than us. They have a totally different sleep cycle than adults do. Why should we expect them to sleep like adults?
Some of the ways we are told we need to "teach" our babies to sleep, I just don't think are teaching them that. Yes for some reason a lot of babies will sleep 12 hours or whatever after they are left to cry it out, but at what cost?
Then there are reasons we wake up ourselves. Sometimes I have to use the restroom at night, or I'm hungry, or thirsty. Sometimes I'm just cold or I want to be held. Why would I think babies are any different? Sometimes they just want to see their mommy, even if their mommy is tired. Sometimes they just need a little drink and all will be better. Since becoming a mom, I have never understood why so much emphasis is put on whether your baby sleeps through the night.
Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect. When I had my first, I actually tried the crying it out thing once, when he was 8 months old. After leaving him in there crying for about 30 seconds I realized I am his mom. I chose to have him, not someone else and their advice. He knows what he needs and who am I to tell him what his needs are? He is only a baby for so long, why do I need to rush him on my timetable?
This has been my experience and I realize I sometimes get pity when I say my baby doesn't sleep through the night or that I will not let them cry it out so they "learn" to put themselves to sleep. Its what is best for my family and I would love to hear others experiences or why it is so important that our babies need to "sleep through the night" when we say they need to.
6 comments:
I tried to comment earlier, but I don't think it showed up. I'm with you. My babies start out in their own bed, but if they wake in the middle of the night, to eat or just for a warm body to snuggle with, they stay with us for the rest of the night. We all sleep better that way. We have a huge king size bed so we're all safe and have tons of space. I've never felt like they've been in danger or I would never do it!
I think using your blog to talk about these kinds of opinions is perfect. That way no one ever feels pin pointed:) You're a very patient woman.
I'm out of the loop on why it's such a big deal, but I think whatever works best for you is what's best for your kids.
I agree with you on this one Marly.... I don't know why people think their kids should be sleeping through the night. I didn't like the idea of my child crying it out. I did it once and he made himself throw up and that was when I said NO he doesn't need this. I did start my son out in his own bed too but when he needed me I would for sure comfort him and bring him to our bed to sleep. If we got better sleep that way then who cares what people think...
Good insight, and even though I am trying to have him use his binkie at night instead of eating to get him to sleep through the night, I enjoy hearing him cry - just to know he is still there and getting to hold him close to my heart when I do feed him are nice at night. I know when he get's older his sleep patterns will level out, as with everyone.
I let my first two cry to get them sleep through the night but the third time I'm not so sure. Although I'm so tired & think my 10 month old should be sleeping better - at times he needs me especially that darn teething pain. I think babies need that comfort and nuture from Mom. They aren't trying to torture us;) Although it may seem that way at times!
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