Adventures in Wassail making, again....

I know, I know, I wasn't going to do this anymore. I just had to come and report about my wassail making experience. This year I bought 8 gallons of apple cider on sale, so we figured we would just make the amount of wassail it takes to use all 8 gallons.

Do you know how much wassail that makes? I didn't. It didn't even occur to me to think about it. It will make a little over 17 gallons of wassail. I am giving it out and usually I'm pretty chinsy on how much I give in each container, but this year, those containers will be full! It's been an exciting day of wassail making.

The first thing I need to know for future reference, if I'm going to buy things throughout the year, make sure to buy EVERYTHING! I bought apple cider, cinnamon sticks, sugar, bottled water (to give out in the bottles), orange juice (which I totally got the right amount without even knowing!), some cloves, and one bottle of lemon juice. I was totally missing the crystallized ginger, which I found out after making a big text plea out to a lot of neighbors, most had no idea what it is. However I was not shocked to find out that no one had it on hand. I mean I only ever use it for wassail and I failed to remember that throughout the year.

Because I didn't want to go shopping on Sunday, a wise friend told me I should look up exchanging powdered ginger to crystallized. I found that if I mix 4 tsp ginger with 4 tsp confectioner sugar for every 1/2 of crystallized ginger, and then mix in 2 tsp cold water, let it sit for a couple minutes, I can replace the crystallized ginger. How awesome is that?! I mean, that's seriously awesome because do you know how expensive that stuff is? Let me just tell you, it's expensive and when you're making 8 recipes of this wassail and you need 12oz, or a cup and 8 Tbl it's going to get even more expensive.

Anyway, I was able to make up the water and make the recipe 3 times tonight. I ran out of lemon juice and actually used 1/4 c lime juice, which totally didn't make a difference. Its amazing how forgiving this recipe seems to be.

OK, here are the amounts to make it 8 times (I learned a lot about measurements and math while trying to figure this out)

4 gallons of water (29 16.9 fl oz water bottles)
8 T whole cloves
48 cinnamon sticks
1 C 8T crystallized ginger (or 8tsp ginger, 8tsp powdered sugar, and 4tsp water)
30 C white sugar (That's a lot! I didn't make sure all the cups were to the top)
4 Qt orange juice
4 QT lemon juice
8 gallons apple cider

A few more things I forgot, save gallon containers because if you don't you end up texting friends and telling them you need their pitchers because you don't a container to give them their wassail in. Oh and then there's the fact that I want to give this stuff to EVERYONE and it kind of gets to be a big deal so then I end up leaving out people I don't want. I need to find an easier way to do this.

I know, I'll buy a huge house and I'll just throw a big Christmas party where everyone can come over and enjoy my wassail! That would certainly save on all the containers I end up getting and I'd have a party, which is always good because I pretty much thrive on social stuff. Ryan has always made fun of me that I'm always the first one there and the last to leave.

So, there you have it. These are the things I learned this year making my wassail, and I really enjoyed writing this, maybe I'll have to start writing on this again. It's kind of a fun outlet because lately I feel like I'm missing something and this is something...... Besides, you all know I haven't been good about staying off the computer anyway.

Isn't it beautiful! I want you to notice the aftermath of wassail making. You will have a big sticky mess and pans in the sink but it's oh so worth it!
I also have my little helper in the background. She really is kind of awesome that way.

Updated from 2016: My stock pot is not big enough to put 8 recipes of water in it. Just do 4 at a time. It will cause lots of freaking out that I added everything before the water and now I hope it tastes right because it won't all steep with the same amount of ingredients.

The push to Preschool

I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this but I don't understand this push for Preschool. I love having my kids at home and I feel like I have just a small amount of time with just them before they get pushed through the system.

I have had different experiences with each of my kids. Owl would learn from just looking at billboards. He was writing his name in the sand at 3.5 and knew all of his alphabet. Monkey doesn't like to learn from me and even refused to color at home but I still think having him home was better for him than going to preschool. Frog has been interesting. She is turning 3 next month and I just realized how much she had been catching up on everything. We were going through the alphabet and she knew about 8 of the letters. I've started just reading her some alphabet books and she's learned almost all the letters and is starting to spell words.

They really all have their own timetable when they learn best and I think that's what I like about keeping them home with me. I can watch what they want to do and teach them the things they're ready for. I know it takes a little more work, like finding friends for them to play with, but for me, I'm OK with that. I love watching them learn and am always sad to see them go off to school.

Happiness is a choice

I have felt like I haven't been very happy in the last couple years. I mean really happy. Not just happy to have my kids or happy to have Ryan, but happy to wake up in the morning and live.

I was thinking about a time when I was just happy and it was when I had a much better attitude. I would look in the mirror and say 'It's going to be a good day!' I would get cut off on the freeway and say 'Well, they must be having a bad day.' How did I get away from that? I'm thinking it was life. I let everything get to me. I got married and got scared when I was moved out of my comfort zone. I got pregnant and had that darn postpartum depression stuff. I just kept going with the negative and sticking with it because I think it was easier to wallow than to be happy.

I now know I want to get back to that. I mean crap happens. Life happens and you just get carried away with it but it doesn't mean you have to have a bad attitude about it or that life has to suck. It doesn't mean you have to be a mean serious mommy who forgets kids like to play and have fun. Or that maybe that annoying person on the road just got an urgent phone call. You don't have to scream and yell at everyone just because they do something they sometimes don't even realize. I want to be happy again, I mean really happy. I want to have a positive attitude about my life again.

So far I've come up with waking up in the morning and being positive with the day. I look at my kids and say 'they are people, just like me, and just want to be loved.' I think it's sort of working. I've been a lot better. It's also helped that I'm getting a little more sleep than I was 6 months ago, but its nice to feel progress. To feel like I'm changing for the better.

I hope that I can continue working on the things it takes to be happy. Happiness is a choice and I'm choosing to be happy. It's not going to change overnight, but if I work on it and work on everything else on a daily basis, I know it will change.

Baptism

Owl was baptized into our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the end of last month and its a little weird to me that I'm old enough to have such a big kid.


Bear is turning 1 soon and I'm so happy! It's been a nice year but I'm happy to see him getting older. It's also been fun watching his personality come out more and more.

Putting his foot down!

Ryan has informed me that I have been sabotaging our efforts to buy a house. See, I talked him into getting a timeshare. Then I talked him into getting another one. Then I talked him into getting more of the first one and eventually selling the second one. Oh, then there are all the other things I've talked him into getting just so we couldn't afford to buy a house.

Maybe he is onto something. I mean I wanted a house when we were first married. I thought "hey, we can get a pretty good house for a descent price" Yea, that was almost 10 years ago. What I didn't realize is that when he graduated and we'd actually have an income, house prices would sky rocket. So now that he has been out of college for 5 years he thinks he wants to buy a house. I look sometimes but I guess I'm a little picky. I love the neighborhood I'm in. I've finally found a place where people want some of the same things as I do. They hang out with me and have girls nights out. I even have some friends I walk with a couple times a week.

Here's the but, its in a horrible location! There are some refineries just up the street from it that have exploded a few too many times. Then there's the fact that a lot of them want to buy a new bigger house and move out of the neighborhood. Oh yea, and the refineries exploding has made the neighborhood hard to sell the houses, so what happens if I buy the house near the people I love and then we have to sell it for one reason or another and can't end up selling the house!

I know what you're saying. It's a house. It's not that big of a deal. Oh, but it is! It's my life I'm signing away! OK, maybe not my life but it sure is a lot of money and then means I'm staying in that house for a long time (I know some people don't think that way, but that's how I think).

So, what do I do now? Just buy a house because Ryan really wants one? Do I stay near all these awesome people or find a different place? Do I look closer to the bigger city, stay near Ryan's work, or go farther away where houses might be cheaper? I just don't know and because I am who I am, I have to analyze this to death! Ryan says he is putting his foot down and we're buying a house in a year. Does he honestly think this will happen? I don't know. I don't want to hold him back but I'm too afraid.

Friendship

I had an incident over a very dumb thing happen with a friend. I whined and complained to a few people and then I didn't want it to turn into gossip so I said I would stop. I told everyone and myself that I'm over it, I just don't care anymore. You know what though? I do care. I can't seem to make myself not think about it. I've tried apologizing twice and haven't gotten a response. I tell myself it'll be OK and I need to stop worrying about it but I can't seem to do it.

I thought maybe typing it out would help, but when I saw this person tonight, it was just awkward. I can't seem to figure out what to do. Maybe I should say something but maybe that won't help. I really don't know but I do hope this gets better and doesn't stay awkward. I'm not a fan of drama and would like to get on with things.

Lessons learned

It's funny being a fourth time mom compared to a first time. I was discussing this with a friend who was going to a baby shower and the theme was "what you couldn't live without".

When I had my first, I thought I couldn't live without everything! I had to have the play pen, car seat/stroller combo, lots and lots of clothes! After my second, I actually sold all that stuff! I got a nice double jogger, because I loved walking everywhere! I got a car seat that goes rear and forward facing that actually stays in the car.

Then there were the ideals. I was going to be with my first baby all the time! I was the only one who was going to take care of him and have him attach to only Ryan and me. He was hardly out of my sight. When I had my third, I think I left her at home with Ryan while I went shopping for about 7 hours. There was no way I was away from my first two that long!

My babies don't start eating solids until they're 9 months. I'm nice and lazy that way and like for them to just get breastmilk and then after trying everything, they go straight to table foods. Oh and don't even think about giving one of my babies junk! Are you kidding me? No ice cream, no chocolate, none of that stuff.

Well, Bear has had french fries, ice cream, chocolate and any sort of not good for you stuff. Oh and he loves it! We gave him a squeeze it punch thing the kids had and holy cow, he freaked out when I took it away. I think I'm going back to my ideals for that one.

The lessons I've learned since having my first are that I thought I knew everything my baby and I needed, but really there is always something new to learn.

I've also learned that really, all babies need is their mommy. Oh and sometimes their daddy.

Fuddy Duddy

When did I become a fuddy duddy? I feel like I'm so serious and I used to be such a goof off. I know, we grow up, blah blah blah. I want to be fun again! (by the way, I analyze my personality WAY too often!)

I feel like it started when I got married and moved to Salt Lake. Ryan was going to school and work and I was so out of my comfort zone. I went from having so many friends and being out ALL the time, to doing nothing! There also felt like this separation in the student apartments. There were the moms and the not moms. The moms all hung out with each other and the not moms waited for their husbands to get home. They were our comfort zones. Sometimes it felt like I should have a baby just so I could have friends. Obviously not a good reason......

So now, almost 10 years later, what am I doing about it? Not a whole lot. I need to start being more fun with my kids. Instead of sitting on the computer reading, why don't I get down with them and play. I need to take them out to the park more and stop using all the excuses I can come up with. I need to stop saying "I don't have many friends to talk to" and just make the best out of the situation I've been dealt. I should also stop hiding behind my inadequacies and remember who I want to be and not care what others think I should be.

These are good options, right? I mean I know I have to grow up but do I have to be ornery all the time?

Gardening

When growing a garden, I have learned I need to read and know what I'm getting into first.

Last year when we moved here, we bought some strawberry plants. They grew and spread as far as they could, or I would let them! They reproduced like there was no tomorrow.

This Spring I went out there and pulled all the weeds because I wanted those yummy home grown strawberries. The rains came and my plants bloomed! It was a beautiful sight. I went out there every day to watch their progress. A few blossoms died from the late frosts, but the plants kept sending out new blossoms. I started seeing strawberries grow. They were beautiful!

I did it, my own strawberries. I wouldn't have to go to the store to feed my kids these yummy fruits. Then it started. I saw a few dead leaves. I asked my fellow facebook friends what was wrong with my plant. One friend remembered that in Utah we can have a fungus problem. We started researching and learned I had black root rot.

In my reading frenzy I found this site. Here are a few very important things I have learned. "Site selection: Soil drainage should be good. Avoid low-lying areas that have a tendency to be poorly drained. Factors that favor black root rot include poorly drained soils, winter injury, nutrient imbalances and herbicide damage." I've also learned strawberries should be planted in a sandy soil and not clay. You should mulch your strawberry plants in late fall to prevent winter injury.

Hmm, I didn't mulch, I planted in clay, we had a wet winter, and spring. I also did nothing to prepare the soil because I was pregnant and thought planting strawberry plants wasn't rocket science.

After all my hard work and sweat last Summmer, I did get an awesome crop but I also lost probably all my plants. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now, but I figure when I do grow strawberries again I may have to do the square foot gardening technique.

(This is the biggest crop I got in one picking. Mmmmm, they were so good!)

Unique

I'd like to think My kids and I are unique. There are things we do that of course we're the only one's who do them.

I've started transferring peoples video's to DVD's and realized some of the things I thought were unique are in fact not. You know, those cute things that your 2 year old does, like sing "Jesus wants me for a sunbeep!" (the correct word being sunbeam) umm, yea a lot of 2 years olds sing it that way. And oh yea, that phenomenon where your kid is doing the cutest thing and you turn your camera on and they stop.

Then there's the 7 year old who you ask to do something with them looking directly into your eyes and they do nothing until you start counting backwards and all of a sudden they start running around like a chicken with its head cut off wondering why you're counting and what they're supposed to do.

Another unique thing about me is my nickname I have for my kids, Love. I thought I was being different. Nope, not different on that one either.

I'm sure we still have some uniqueness in us but it's actually comforting to see that even with our judgments of someone on the outside, we really are the same and going through a lot of the same things. I'll bet I have more in common with you than you think.

Playing outside

So when did it change from kids playing outside day and night to keeping our kids indoors or in our sight all the time? Can't we teach them proper manners and trust them?

I know people say it's harder now, there are more dangers than when we were kids but I just don't believe it. I mean yes it's different in different areas. In the neighborhood I grew up in a little girl was killed by a boy who lived in the neighborhood. There were always these kidnapping scares and yet we still played outside.

I am not really talking about younger kids, but school age kids. I remember having the run of the neighborhood and we were always outside with our friends.

Now it seems like some peoples attitudes are that if a kid is outside all the time, someone should call CPS on their parents. They must be doing a bad job. I don't get it.

The main reason my kids aren't outside much is because we lived in an apartment for so long. Out our front door was a parking lot and not much grass to play on. They are still getting used to being able to play outside.

But I ask you, why is it so bad for kids to play outside?

Strawberry jam

Just kidding, its strawberry syrup! Here is the recipe I started with

I was trying to make a no pectin added strawberry jam but it seems I can't. I've now tried it two times and still have not gotten it thick enough. I think I may just not have enough patience. The recipe also told me to use a candy thermometer and I don't have one, so I just guessed.

The first time I made it, I had 12 lbs of ripe (sat in the fridge a couple days) strawberries and didn't let the sugar sit in the strawberries. The second time I had 18 lbs that I cut up the same day I bought them and let the sugar sit overnight. I'm pretty sure I like the first way better. It was thicker the first time.

She had 1 C of mashed strawberries, 1 C of sugar and 1 T lemon juice. This all makes 1/2 pint. Because I don't own 1/2 pints, I used pints.

The first time I made it I did 1 C sugar to 2 C mashed strawberries and 1 T lemon juice. She also says to add the lemon juice to the strawberry juice after taking the strawberries out, but I just added it at the beginning.

I would not recommend doing 18 lbs in one pot. Try and do less. the 12 lbs weren't so bad.

First you cut all the strawberries up and put them in a pot, throw in the sugar and lemon juice. Bring to a boil, and boil it for 5 minutes, stirring constantly so you don't burn the sugar.

Get a big strainer over a big bowl and strain the juice from the strawberries. Put the juice back into the pot and let it boil until your candy thermometer reads 220 or 222, or you get impatient and want syrup.

Add the strawberries back into the pot. Mix together and let boil for another minute or so.

Pour the syrup/jam into a hot bottle and leave about 1/2 inch of headroom. Wipe the tops off with a damp cloth and put the top on, then screw the lid on, but not too tight because you just want it to hold it there.

I guess you're supposed to have a special bottling thing to let them process in but I've always just used my big pot with boiling water. Put the lid on and process for 10 minutes.

Take the jars out of the water with tongs and put them on a pretty pink towel so they can cool and dry off. Oh and here is the best part, wait and listen for the popping sound and you know you have done an awesome job!

This is my cute helper. He slobbered all the lids for me. Isn't he sweet?!

Staying motivated

I've always been a horrible housekeeper. I mean my house isn't a complete mess, but I get overwhelmed and then I just do nothing. My new years resolution this year was to do my dishes every day and keep my counter top and table cleaned off. I've been sort of successful, but not 100%.

I was whining to a friend about my lacking skills and she told me about a website she has been using for a couple years. Motivated moms sells a yearly cleaning schedule for $8. It includes things like cleaning refrigerator shelves and changing your dish towels. Things I don't always think about. It also has exercise as a daily chore which of course I know is important but am not always very good at making myself do.

I know there are a few other things out there like this, but I figured I'd let you all know. I think its kind of an awesome set up and am excited at having my house just a little bit cleaner.

An apithany of some sort

I just finished watching a movie about stay at home moms, "Motherhood" with Uma Thermon. One comment the mom in the movie made to her daughter was that mommies need to have jobs to be happy and a nice mom. Moms need to think about themselves and put themselves ahead of everyone else so they can be a good mom. I guess it has to do with the advice they give you in airplanes. The only way you will survive is if you put on your mask before your childs because you have to save yourself first.

I think about this example and I just don't think they fit. I have tried this way. I have tried to put myself first. Make sure I have my activities and my interests and you know what I've discovered? I think about myself. I don't think how I can help my kids or my husband or a friend down the street. I think about how I can make things better for myself.

I just think this has made us more selfish. We have to have our own separate lives. We have to have everyone around us make us happy and who cares if our kids have us or not. I'm not going to say I need a balance because I don't. What I think I need is to take care of my kids. Not give my kids every single second of my time. That's not what I'm saying. I'm also not saying I need to run myself ragged but I do need to focus on their needs and not just my own. I need to be there for them and try my hardest to be a good mom.

I always like to say, there is a time and a season. I still take care of myself, but the time and season for my kids is now. They will only be small once and if I teach them service, they will in turn do service for others and not become a selfish adult who can only think whether they have problems or not. At least that's the plan.

Eventful day

Ok, so I've had 4 kids, right? I should know some things, right? Like, if you have a baby, you should have diapers and extra clothes because you just never know when they'll need them. Its the same with nursing. When you nurse, you need to eat and drink A LOT. Its what your body needs to make that milk for your baby to eat.

Well, yesterday morning I woke up not feeling very well. I think I had food poisoning or something. So I tried to eat breakfast and wasn't able to keep it down. I picked up the kids from school and called Ryan to have him come home and watch the kids while I took a 3 hour nap. I have to say, I think that's what I should get every day! Too bad I have to watch the other kids.

I woke up, went and picked up Owl and was just fine. I came home and rested some more. When it was time for the girl I watch to be picked up, I wanted to prove to myself that I was just fine. I had this little thought in my head not to get up, but when have I listened to that? On my way back up the stairs, I was talking to her mom and everything went fuzzy. I was afraid I would faint so I was trying my hardest to get to the couch. I didn't make it. I fell, hitting my head on the wall and our nice hard wood floor. Ryan informed me later that I fell wrong. I was supposed to fall into his arms.

Next thing I know my head hurts and I'm in Ryan's lap. I scared the girls mom pretty good. I sent a text to my chiropractor telling her what happened and she told me to come in. On the way there my arms and legs were kind of limp and numb. I'm pretty sure this had to do with the fall and that fact that I hadn't really eaten since Sunday afternoon.

Luckily after the visit, my arms and legs were no longer numb. I still have a little bit of a headache, but I seem to be fine. We went to Jamba Juice to get me something to eat and that helped a lot.

The lesson I learned? Even when you don't feel like eating, if you're nursing, do it anyway! Its too much for your body to handle and you might just pass out and feel like a fool.

Excuses

Because I've started taking pictures in RAW format, I've been lazy to fix them to jpg so I could post some. I've been really working on my photography skills and I think I'm getting better, just lazy.

I have learned something new. I have co-slept with each of my kids. They've all done just fine with it. However Bear thinks he needs to nurse every hour and I'm not getting a lot of sleep. He sleeps just fine until we come to bed and then he's up. Last night I made sure he went back into his bed (side cared to ours) and he slept for 3 hours straight! We are now turning the crib back into a crib and moving it to Ryan's side of the bed. I really hope this helps him to sleep. Who knew I would be wrong. Oh yea, I remember, every kid is different and just because one thing works for one, doesn't mean it will work for all :)

Homework

Since when did it take 3 hours to do 3 pages of homework? Monkey was supposed to get his homework done before going to soccer yesterday. (yes, its spring, soccer has started!) When I got home, I found out he hadn't actually finished the homework. Had I checked before we left, I would have realized this minor offense, but I trusted him when he said 'yes, I finished my homework'. Well, at least I got some good pictures. I've even been taking my camera off the auto settings and using Manual. (I really don't like the new picture stuff on here. I can't ever figure out how to get the curser to be between the pictures to explain them)

feeling off

I'm pretty sure I have some sort of vitamin deficiency or a hormone imbalance. I have gotten to the point where I don't feel. You may wonder what exactly that could mean. I get upset with the kids and I don't feel anything. I don't feel happy or sad. I just don't really feel anything.

My skin has also gotten more sensitive. I will get a rash on my skin for absolutely no reason. I mean, it seems like no reason. I told my midwife of this and she said I should probably get tested. When I made an appointment with another midwife, it was either April 1st or April 28th. Gee, which would I rather have? next week or the end of next month? I thought having a midwife was supposed to help you get appointments sooner. Maybe she has gotten more popular. Oh well, Ryan gets to stay home with the kids so I can go by myself.

Wish me luck! I hope they figure out what is wrong because I'm tired of this. You know, everything was fine until I had my 4th kid. Now I seem to be slowly falling apart.

Oh and you may ask why so many midwives. One problem with having homebirths is that the homebirth midwife doesn't do well women care, so I have an awesome relationship with her but I can't use her for every day things. Although she is awesome and will answer my questions in e-mails.

Sinus infection

I was sick this last week with a sinus infection. Having one of these while nursing is just not fair. I couldn't take a decongestant or I would risk drying my milk up. I suffered until Wednesday when I went to my chiropractor. Did you know they can help when you're sick? I didn't realize until I read somewhere online about it. I went and was able to breath for the first time in a week! I no longer felt like death and wondered why I hadn't gone earlier. You could say it was getting better on its own, but it was immediate!

I also learned in my online search that you can put saline solution up your nose. Yea, that was fun!

Because of the sickness I had to stop doing the shred. By the time I got back to it, I was going to die doing the workout. Instead of just giving up, I'm starting the 1st video again for a couple days and then I'll go back to the 2nd one. I know myself too well to not overly push myself or I will quit.

Randomness, in pictures

My boy is 6. He is finally getting so big and had his very first friend birthday. Amazingly it went really well. I hadn't ever done a 'drop your kid off' party, but it was actually really good. I think because I didn't have the other moms to either distract me or to look good for.

They played a few games, had cupcakes, and then played with all the toys. I tried to say they didn't need to bring gifts but I guess that's why we have parties! I always thought it was so they can have a fun time with their friends.

Pink and yellow and blue and purple! She must have them all. One color will not do.

Here is my little man in my new favorite toy. As a first time mom, I was against anything babysitter. I hated things that you just put your baby in and left them. I was always really good at being on my high horse and pretty annoyed when I saw other moms using these.

See, I can learn things! Sometimes there is a very good reason to borrow something like this. Dinner! It's one of the only ways I can make dinner, peacefully.

Un-friendliness

Is that even a word?

I've been thinking about what is different from when I was growing up and now. Garages and big white fences.

My generation had either chain link fences or no fence. Yes, there were a few with the wooden ones, but mostly you could see through. If your neighbor was outside, you could go out and talk. Now that we have these big white fences, we just don't have that automatic opportunity.

My second thought is garages. Most people didn't have a garage. When you came home from work, you got out of your vehicle outdoors and were therefore visible to your neighbors. You could have conversations with each other about how your day went. Now we pile our kids into our cars inside the garage and then take them all out, inside the garage.

I'm not saying people can't be friends nowadays, its just harder because there is more work involved. You have to put yourself out there to make and keep friends. One way I tried to do this last summer was to be out in my front yard, especially when it was time for people to come home from work. I would watch the kids ride their bikes or weed the front lawn. I guess we'll see how this summer goes and if I can get out more and really get to know my neighbors, without having to go door to door.

Hearing or listening

I ask my kids quite often, "Do you have a hearing problem or a listening problem?" Sometimes I think they have both. I think I have a listening problem. Quite often I'll get in social situations, ask the regular question of "how are you doing?" and then have no idea what else to say. I figured it was because my brain is mush but I think I finally realized its because I have a listening problem. I don't listen well enough to what people are telling me that I don't know what else I should ask them.

I seem to be one of those people who just constantly talks about myself. I want to be someone who listens but I need to learn how to go about doing that.

I guess I'll start with actually paying attention to what the person is saying. Then I'll ask them about what they're talking about instead of trying to come up with some way it applies to me. Yes, I think this just might work. Any other ideas?

House hunting

We did it again. A friend of ours watched our kids so we could go on a date. We've been wondering where we'd want to actually buy a house, in the future. We took a drive into a new development and drove around a bit. Who would it hurt to just check out their model home? Ryan, that's who it will hurt. He desperately wants to buy a house. He has wanted to buy one for a few years now. 5 to be exact!

After we walked through a few and saw their prices, I figured what would it hurt to go to the bank and see if we could swing it. We went to the bank and talked with someone about the different options. Again, we walked away knowing with our financial situation, we can't buy a house. Ryan was deflated, yet again.

Now, if we could just rewind 6 years, we could totally buy a house! I know its 6 years because Ryan graduated 5 years ago and that was when the house prices had started to rise. 6 years ago the average house price was $150,000. 5 years ago it was creeping near the now average house price of $200,000. I kind of wish I could go back in time 9 years and tell ourselves to start saving, get that down payment, work more, put more money away, and take the time to sit down and think about your financial future. At that time all I thought about was the fact that my husband went to school and I was home alone. What a whiner!

Well since time travel doesn't really exist, I'll just have to keep taking Ryan to these open houses and then back to the bank to show him its just not time for us to own a home. I'm really okay with it. I think I'm actually afraid of it, but that's a whole other discussion. Oh and I tell myself the only way people can afford homes nowadays because they have a two income household. If that isn't true and you just make enough, don't tell me.

People person

I'm a people person. I always have been. If you've known me at all, you will probably know me forever.

Sadly facebook feeds this thing I have and I can keep up with everyone I've ever known. The problem is I don't make time for people now. I get my people fix online and I don't make any effort in person. It's also not good for my kids because they sit inside while I'm getting my social interaction online. I know I need to do more to get us out but I think that's kind of the culture we live in nowadays. We aren't outside nearly as much as when I was growing up. I mean I had the run of the neighborhood! I can't say "well, there are more predators out now" because in my neighborhood we had a huge kidnapping scare, all the time, and we still played outside.

I'm not saying I need to let my kids run amuck but we certainly need to get out more and play with real people. Please, anyone, tell me how to go about doing this?! Do I just start inviting myself over to peoples houses? I just don't know where to start. It seems like a different world than when I was growing up.

Oh and by the way, I finally found something I could exercise wise. I'm doing Jillian Michaels 'The Shred'. I've actually done it every day and my body hurts! I guess I'll let you know in 30 days if I was shredded.

Where's my award?

Bear slept 6 straight hours last night! I think that's s"sleeping through the night"! I think that's the most I've slept in over a year. Where's my award?

(I'm not trying to make fun of anyone. I'm just trying to be funny. Ryan tells me every day, I'm not)

Winter, or is it?

Every year winter comes. I live in a place with snow, so I expect it to be cold. Every year I hear people complaining about how bad it is and how they hate the snow. Which I then think, 'you know, there are places where the snow doesn't fall.'

I started paying attention a few years ago to see just how cold it is. Really, it only starts getting really cold in December and goes through February. I also find it funny when we have groundhogs day and everyone gets all mad at the groundhog for seeing his shadow. Umm, guys, 6 more weeks is only the second week in March. Its really not that bad.

Ever since I've realized this, my winters haven't been completely unbearable! We spend as much time playing in the snow as we can and then welcome the spring!

Oh, and I've also noticed its really not been that bad of a winter. I mean 45 for a high?! Come on people, this is wonderful. Although I've wondered if I'm a freak of nature because I will go out in 30 degree weather in a short sleeve shirt and no coat. Last week when it was 40, I took out the garbage barefoot.

nicknames

I figured I should explain the nicknames.

I've been thinking lately I should do a little more to help with the protection of my blog. I've done a few things but I figured I would also not have my kids real names anymore.

I put Ryan to work to come up with some good nicknames. He suggested I use a bunch of Portuguese words. Look, just because he knows them, doesn't mean I will. We all know I'm the one writing everything even if he can author stuff.

He came up with Owl, Monkey, Frog, and Bear.

Owl because, well, my oldest loves to be up at night time. He just doesn't seem to need any sort of sleep when its dark and seems to be able to live off less than me. He thinks he should have been a bat, but we thought Owl fit nicely.

Monkey is what we have called our second son since he could move! That kid climbs on everything! I constantly have people freaking out that he is going to kill himself. he also prides himself on how high he can jump off things. He is a nut.

Ryan wasn't sure if Frog was an appropriate nickname for the girl but if you know her, she jumps all the time. She would probably eat bugs if you offered them up.

The baby is bear because well, he growls, all the time! He might out grow this, but for now he is a growler. I could call him snake because he slithers all over the floor. He is now no longer in the same place that we leave him in.

We thought about giving ourselves nicknames. Ryan thought he should be studdly or something like that. I figured he can just be Ryan.

I've thought about changing our address since it has our name in it but I'm wondering if that would be really complicated. I guess that's what I get for not being creative enough.

Little Bronson and more ramblings

I just wanted to update anyone who started following this families plight. Little Bronson is awake! Seriously, how awesome is that?!

By the way, I know I've been posting a lot lately. I guess I figured I had more to say. Oh and I'm trying to get my background better. I hate how narrow it is but I can't for the life of me figure out how to make it wider. I also decided to give my kids nicknames. You can see off to the left what they are. I'm trying to do a few more safety things, so stay with me on this one.

Also, if you're a blog stalker, now's as good a time any to come out and say hi :) and give me some recommendations on how to make my blog prettier. Oh wait, not pretty as in froofy. Pretty as in, nicer to look at, or better looking. I'm not a flowers and frill kind of gal!

Sleeping through the night

I've wanted to have an open and honest discussion about this for a while but I just haven't known how to go about it. I know that so many people have their own ideas and its hard for mom's to have a good discussion without thinking the other person is putting us down.


I wonder when people talk about their baby sleeping through the night if its a badge of honor. Where did this idea that babies are supposed to sleep so many hours at a certain age? I mean I understand we are tired but babies are wired differently than us. They have a totally different sleep cycle than adults do. Why should we expect them to sleep like adults?

Some of the ways we are told we need to "teach" our babies to sleep, I just don't think are teaching them that. Yes for some reason a lot of babies will sleep 12 hours or whatever after they are left to cry it out, but at what cost?

Then there are reasons we wake up ourselves. Sometimes I have to use the restroom at night, or I'm hungry, or thirsty. Sometimes I'm just cold or I want to be held. Why would I think babies are any different? Sometimes they just want to see their mommy, even if their mommy is tired. Sometimes they just need a little drink and all will be better. Since becoming a mom, I have never understood why so much emphasis is put on whether your baby sleeps through the night.

Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect. When I had my first, I actually tried the crying it out thing once, when he was 8 months old. After leaving him in there crying for about 30 seconds I realized I am his mom. I chose to have him, not someone else and their advice. He knows what he needs and who am I to tell him what his needs are? He is only a baby for so long, why do I need to rush him on my timetable?

This has been my experience and I realize I sometimes get pity when I say my baby doesn't sleep through the night or that I will not let them cry it out so they "learn" to put themselves to sleep. Its what is best for my family and I would love to hear others experiences or why it is so important that our babies need to "sleep through the night" when we say they need to.

Tummy time

Look who has learned to roll over and push himself up! Not too long now and he should be crawling!

I just thought this was funny. He wasn't enjoying his tummy anymore and she is just sweet as an angel.
This is the other reason he isn't crawling yet. He thinks his hands should constantly be in his mouth. Yum!

Online

You know, I'm someone who likes being honest. I like saying who I am and sharing that with others. I try to really be honest but honestly, I think I'm a little too much online. I put things out there on here and my facebook and then get embarressed when someone talks to me about it in person. Like my whole vacuum fiasco. It seems funny and stupid but then I admit to it to someone in person and they can't believe I actually did that or that I fell for something like that.

Yeah, so I guess I'll have to quit being so honest or stop being so embarrassed.

Life seems too short

I have been reminded that life is too short. I get so caught up with what people tell me to do as a mom and the way I should raise my kids and I forget, life is sometimes too short. Some moms lose their sweet little ones earlier than they ever thought they would and I'm worrying about whether my baby is sleeping through the night or if they are dressed well enough or whether they use their manners at restaurants.

Yes, these things can be important but in the grand scheme of things, do they have to be perfect? I have been reading about two moms struggles for their little boys. Natalie, a friend of a friend, lost her little newborn to Pertussis. Sara, another friend of a friend, is in the PICU at Primary Children's Medical Center waiting to see what will happen to her little boy. I have been reading both their blogs since these tragedy's happened and I just weap. I can't help myself. I have these beautiful healthy kids and these women are losing theirs. It doesn't seem fair but I know my Heavenly Father is with them both.

Please, if you can, pray for them both.

DEBT FREE!!!!!

(I wrote the other post a week ago and never got it out. I figured I should post it first before this one)

I know, I know. I totally whined about how hard it has been to get that last debt gone. The day after I wrote that, I sat down and figured out our taxes. It just so happened that we were getting back the exact amount that we owed on the van. The only reason we got such a big refund was because I made Ryan lower our exemptions so I wouldn't have to pay our state tax like I did the year before. I also forgot we were going to have another baby, so we got a whole lot more than I was expecting.

The W-2 finally came 23rd and I immediately sent my return in. It took 2 weeks for them to deposit the money in and I got it this morning. The funny thing is the banks web site wouldn't let me transfer all that, so I had to do two transfers to pay it off. It said it was too big. Go figure!

Well, here's my Dave Ramsey scream since I don't want to call in and do it!

WE'RRRRRRRRRRRRRE DEBTTTTTTTTTTTTT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $34,000 in 20 months, living like no one else so we can live like no one else!

Now, on to baby step number 3, 3-6 months emergency savings. I guess its not quite time to live like no one else.

Door to Door Salesman

So, remember when I said I was paying our debt off? Well, I still am and I have a way to do it so basically in my head, we're debt free.

Two Friday's ago we had a Kirby Salesman come to our door. They sure are tricky too. They send someone up to tell you they're going to clean a part of your carpet for free, take your name and go. Then a new person comes up, starts unloading the box and begins to clean every surface they can. I was just being shown how dirty my house is. I blamed the construction down the street.

The whole time I'm thinking 'I'm not going to buy this thing, no matter how good it is, I'm not going to buy it'. We get to the end of the cleaning and a manager comes to tell us how much it is. I laughed. He showed us a smaller price and I was OK with it. I said we could probably do it, using our small emergency fund. Is anyone seeing what's wrong with this picture? The emergency fund is in there for an emergency, not a vacuum purchase!

As I'm sure you've figured out, we bought the vacuum. Throughout the whole process I just had this feeling in my gut, someone was trying to tell me not to do this. When he was giving us the smaller amount, I thought I should take Ryan into another room and discuss it with him, not in front of the manager. After this thought he told us about a story when he went to a couples house and he knew they wanted it but neither of them wanted to take the responsibility of saying yes, so he took them into separate places and basically convinced them that their spouse wanted to buy it . He was sure that to this day, the wife thinks it was the husbands choice and the husband thinks it was the wife's. Are we seeing a pattern? A little dishonest and yet I'm shocked myself that I still bought it.

Saturday, I still felt OK about the purchase, by Sunday, I was having major guilt! Monday, still not feeling sure about myself. By Tuesday I looked over the contract and saw I had 3 business days to return it with no problem. I had to have it back by midnight. I called that place so fast and drove it the 40 minutes away, just to make sure I got rid of it. Luckily I got my money back after nicely calling them 3 times a day, for 4 business days.

The day after I took it back we started researching the company and saw that they can sell these things for $700-$2500. My number was on the lower end in between that.

I just don't get it, for such a good vacuum why do they have to sell it so sleazy? Why can't they just sell them in stores? Everyone knows Kirby's really are great vacuums. They should sell themselves but yet they have these people out there being so dishonest about the whole thing. I feel horrible I got sucked into the whole thing and because of my stupid mistake and not listening to that feeling inside me, I wasn't able to get the gym membership that was such a great deal. I guess it's back to my own treadmill and bike.

Haiti and being prepared

I sit here watching the news about Haiti. I watch as they pull out a man's wife from the rubble of a bank, I cry. I cry because from here there's nothing I can do to physically help these people. I want to save every single person I can, but I can't be there to help them.

I think about my own family and if something like this were to happen to us, would we be prepared? I mean obviously we wouldn't be able to dig ourselves out if the house crumbled onto us, but would we be able to take care of ourselves if something like this happened? Honestly, no. We don't have food and water put aside. We don't have our 72 hour kits. We don't have enough food to make it through a week on our own. Well, we do have black beans, and I'm sure we could eat those, but would the kids eat it?

I need to really start working on getting my family as prepared as we can. When bad things happen, the police can't get to us. We have to be able to take care of ourselves. I'm just getting started on this. I have a responsibility to have the means to take care of my family. Does anyone have any recommendations on where to get started? My current plan is to get 72 hour kits, then a 3 month supply of food, and eventually over a year because if something so bad happened, I would like to have enough food to help those around me and not have them want to kill me for my food.

Blog Privacy

Sometimes I go to others blogs and they have pictures from different places they go. I see other kids in the background or they have pictures of their family members, or their nieces and nephews.

I've tried to make sure you can't see pictures of other peoples faces or putting pictures of my nieces and nephews on here because I don't feel its my place to put their pictures all over the internet. I've actually been thinking the same about my kids. How are they going to feel when they find out all the stuff I've put on here about them? I'm sure they'll love me for it :) I do try to keep personal pictures off, but I just wonder sometimes about what is appropriate or not.

Almost debt free

Remember this? Well, we're almost there. Actually, we've been almost there since August, but you have to pay a midwife to catch your baby, go on vacation, get new tires, pay insurance deductibles, and you get new car insurance before your other policy is up, it kind of slows down the whole 'get out debt'.

See, we started this whole thing right after Ryan got his new job. We were stoked! The plan was set. We were going to be completely out of debt a year later! I mean no debt. No car loans, no student loans and no timeshare. Yea, I know, those darn timeshare people. They just pull you in! Anyway, as Dave Ramsey says, Murphy happened. Repeatedly. He just kept getting in the way. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Well, I am here to say that I'm ready to kick Murphy out! I got an e-mail informing me that a mom in Monkey's class needed some help. She would pay someone to watch her daughter for the hours between Kindergarten and the rest of the kids get out, and she would pick up that mom's child. Well, guess what? I have two kids in school and it drives me crazy to have to go to the school twice a day. This is a win win situation! I get paid to have someone to play with Monkey before the other mom brings Owl home for me. YAY, money to pay the dumb debt off.

Ryan came home yesterday and informed me that the machines he is working on need to be done March 15th and April 15th. See, Ryan works 9 hour days and gets every other Friday off. They said if he was so inclined he could go into work on his Friday's off so he can get the machines done on time. YAY, more money to pay the debt off! Are you seeing a pattern? Things just seem to be falling into place. I can get this dumb debt out of the way and onto the next step by the end of February.

Now, to make this happen, Murphy needs to leave us alone. My plan is to just sit here quietly and not move. If I don't move, I can't overspend. Oh and if I don't move, I can't get any higher bills. See how this is a full proof plan?! Well, I certainly hope this can happen and we can finally be rid of this debt stuff. After this, 3 months savings and then a down payment for a house. I knew we could do it if we just worked hard.

Honesty

I have always been a pretty honest person. I never realized this trait was so weird. Maybe the trait of being honest isn't what is weird, maybe its because I'm too blunt, outspoken, whichever word you like.

I got together with a friend of mine who was my young woman leader when I was in my teens. She informed me that she was warned about me by my primary teachers. 'Oh, good luck with her. I had her in primary'. She said I was fine, but I informed her it was because I liked her. Yes, I've always been pretty honest in my feelings for people. I'm a horrible faker and just can't lie to you. I've had a few people recently tell me how weird that is.

Is it really that weird to be honest with those around you? Or maybe I should change my word to blunt. Ryan actually informed me that I like to rock the boat on purpose. Who, me? I would never do that! OK, I would. I like to get things out in the open and then we can discuss our feelings.

Happy New Year

We made it all the way to 11:30 at my sister-in-laws. On our drive home we had almost the entire freeway to ourselves. We were able to enjoy everyone's illegal fireworks. After we took all the sleeping children out of the van, put them in their beds, gave each a kiss with a 'Happy New Year' and went to bed. It was a rip roar-en New Year.